my life sucks.. yesterday and today weren't good days.
anyways,today had no mood. a big thanks to those who cheered me up today! noraza,rahziah,rusydi and hanafi actually..for listening to me.. thanks rusydi,you made me open up but i couldn't control my emotions..
imma tell the truth here.
because of what you told me,i feel like a nobody now. i wonder how others will think of me now when they see u have commented such things about me. you don't want me to be happy in life?
why facebook? couldn't you have talked to me?
anyways, about my motivator.. noraza,its not working... it didnt work..i sent that message cause i just dont want my sis to think i'm despo. besides,i still have a crush on him.. nothing wrong for a girl to have a crush.. and he'll always be our motivator kays:)
if heartbroken means sitting on the bathroom floor,crying your lungs out and regretting what you did.. then i guess i just had another session of heartbreak..
i had huge,high hopes.. that at least a friendship could blossom.. but no,i was so wrong.. i dropped the fucking world on my head. i mean come on, a handsome face falling for a eff-face like me.. please uh, he gotta be blind to fall for me..
so,currently texting shiva and facebooking and eating... no mood to study..
and yeah, there might actually be someone else... well, i cant say anything else,i dont know him yet.. we're just friends.. but i'm very sure if there's more to this friendship, there might very well be another arguement proving her right... saying that "if its not this guy, its another.. if its not another, its someone else"

and after all you said, i dont think the apology helped me gain back my confidence.. am i supposed to face the world when people now think that i am a despo? i am a minah? i have a fucked up attitude? i am a small punk? i am a bitch with a bitchy attitude because i wear short skirts?
let me clarify this ok!
if i do tie my hair like my mom,its my hair,please dont bother.. and if that hairstyle seems minah to you,thats your problem.. seriously.i like my hair the way it is.
i have a attitude problem yeah? well, tell me one person in the world who wont give attitude to another person who insulted them for nothing? you talk as if you've never shwon me attitude before.. i can tell you at least 10 times you showed me attitude when it wasnt even my fault.. and now,i'm bringing the family name down right?
i'm a small punk.. coz i pierce my ear 2 times right? my other friends have 8 piercings..they're not punk.. i'm sure your friends have piercings too,they arent punk.. and i rebond my fringe? the first two times was without permission but later dad allowed me to do so.. so there is not problem with that now.
i'm also a bitch? coz i wear short skirts... yeah then, come to school with me one day,i won't fold my skirt once. i'll just let it fall down ok... please uh..the skirt size 27..  my waist size 24.. big difference right... it becomes shorter as i fold,common sense.. and i only fold once.its only necessary to fold ONCE!if it seems like a short skirt, i cant do anything about it.
best part, i'm despo... you think i find boyfriends because i'm a playgirl??  its absolutely normal for a girl to have a crush on a guy... and please, i dont move on that fast ok... and you know that... now its been  6 months and i finally had a crush on someone else.. just a crush.. and you insulted me so much that i don't wanna get to know him anymore... well then, thinking of it now,i guess it was more of a liking than a crush... coz i cried,i dont know why,but i did. i felt that i missed a chance....anyways, to hell with that..
as long as my friends know i'm not such a person, i'm fine with that.. coz now,i'm starting to have the same mindset as when i was in sec 2... my friends are a better family than my real family
-my eyes are swelling up.. dont let this happen again...
--i've lost almost all my hope.. dear noraza,can i do that stupid thing again... the one we both used to do?

P.S [ i'm not totally angry at you. i still have that slight hatred and i dont know when i'll start talking to you again.. but for now,it's not gonna happen quickly.. and another thing, its the first time in sec school i'm having a camp..humanities camp.. it falls on your birthday.. from 730-1.30 i guess.. i dont wanna go... i've got plans for you... but if its compulsory,i'll make sure my plans are still carried out. it'll take time for me to start talking to you again,like we used to. ]

and to someone who probably doesn't even visit this blog: i dont know whats happening now. i just want things to get back to normal..

i hate my life..people keep misunderstanding me.and they try to correct me. i'm not even doing anything wrong..well,if whatever i'm doing hurts them,then they can tell me nicely.there's no need to brag about it on facebook by commenting and suddenly going out of the point and  "pao-to-ing' me online. i'll never think of doing that and you easily embarassed and brought my name down online.what will my friends think of me now?
and you know what,before i came home,i was actually planning about a surprise bdae party for you,i dont think i'm gonna do that already after whatever happened..
and i dont like him..i just told certain people that i find him cute and good looking. nothing more,nothing less..and then certain people brag about it saying i have a crush on him? please dont ruin my reputation.and yea,i'm being called a despo for that. thanks.
i'm just getting to know a "new" guy and thats considered despo. how many "new" guys did you intro with???u not despo ah??
anyways,i dont wanna embarass certain people online..
and whats said is said.. no taking it back...
AND I SAID : I'LL CHANGE IF I FIND THE NEED TO.

yesterday was really a memorable day:)
had adam khoo's workshop. it was the last day,sadly.
did mindmap about managing healthcare within 15minutes.WHOA!
then,asked dad and sis to come for the closing ceremony.
sis didn't come,she was sleeping.
dad came and i guessed he understood how we feel too.
was with friends and we were all so hyper clapping for almost anything:)
then it came the time where anyone could say anything to their parents on stage.
quite a number of 5na people went. including me.
well,i didnt exactly finished what i wanted to say.
coz i just broke down.
all i managed to say was "Pa, after the divorce i know things weren't easy for us."
and then he saw me crying and walked up to give me a hug.
i really do miss those hugs.it's been a really long time since i had those hugs <3
many friends started crying.so i went to comfort them and all.
then sang songs with fellow 5na friends:)
unforgettable moment!
and rusydi,thanks for giving me ur manual since i misplaced mine:D

i didnt manage to say what i wanted to..but here's exactly what i wanted to say.
Pa,after the divorce i know things weren't easy for us.thanks for being both a mum and dad for me and sis.i know i've made alot of mistakes and hurt you unknowingly.i'm really sorry for all those mistakes i made. please forgive me.i know that i've hurt you by not listening to you at times. by doing thing you actually didn't allow me to do. for example,rebonding my fringe.and there's another thing i want to mention. look at my friends.they're sitting in front of you. you've told me that my friends aren't good. do they look bad one bit? dad,i've been mixing with them for 5 years now. although they're all malays and a big group,they are really close and dear to me.5 years is a long time,and i didn't get into bad company. please dad,they aren't bad.please understand that ok.and i know that you're relly concerned for me and sis. i know this may be asking for too much but i want to be able to spend time with my friends without you using guilt treatment on me. whenever you do so,i feel really bad and have to cancel on my friends which would hurt them in the end. i'm not asking you to allow me to go out every single time. but once in a while at least. i do want to spend time with friends too. and i hope you would allow me to go for my clas outing this year,since it will be the last time we are all gona be together.
teachers,i'm sorry if i ever went against you. i know i have been rude to some teachers and i apologise for that from the bottom of my heart. i prmis to change for the better. and thanks for always showing that love and concern for everyone of us.
and my dearest friends,we've stuck together for 5 years now.we've really bonded and formed an unforgettable friendship. i never want to lose anone of you. because each and every one of you are so dear to me.thanks for being there for me,during times when i cried and also times when i just wanted to share my happiness. thanks for accepting me for who i am. and for those whom i have hurt before,please foggive me,i never meant to do those things to you. i hope we can start anew and let bygones be bygones.i love you.

if only i didnt cry on stage,i would have said all these. but i know one day will come when i'll say it to them again:)
well,this may sound so philosophical and all but i've really changed for the better.and i hope this new me will be acceptable to the society.
 happy belated birthday to syazman boyfee and rahziah begum!!!i love you people. and rahziah,i have yet to buy you a present. i will get you one,i just dont know when:) please dont mind waiting ok!
and royston grandma!happy birthday dude!!!
alright enough blogging.i miss my dad,i wann hang out with him now.. and probably later go for a haircut soon

and noraza,i hope we haven't drifted apart. you were so close to me and these past three days,we barely talked. i miss you scandal..i hope it was just for those three days.

i so sian now.i actually typed a whole essay about what i learnt today. and dammit,idk what happened. fml!this might affect whoever,i'm sorr if it did in any way.
ok.today,the main thing was the crying. crying over how stupid we have been in our lives.blaming our parents for everything we go thorough. we have a lack of freedom,a curfew, low self confidence and its all their fault.
dont we realise that they are the ones who are actually being tortured?they work for us,they provide for us.and all we do is curse them behind out backs,go against their words. what kind of children are we?we torture them alot and yet they dont complain,they just hold it in,cause they loved us from the moment we came into this world.
when was the last time we helped out parents?when was the last time we told our parents we loved them?remember the times when a night would never be peaceful without a goodnight kiss and a hug?remember the very first day of primary school when our parents sent us and never looked away till we disappeared into the school?they were there for us all this while , and human nature is,we will only regret and start to treasure this once they are gone.can't we just hug them before going to bed? a hug makes someone's day. don't you know how "loved" a person will feel with just one small hug?and can't we start appreciating everything they have done for us from the moment we entered this world?
and when they leave us,and we see the sad look on their face. we ask them whats wrong?is there any problem. and then they say that their only problem was you and your upbringing. it feels like an explosion.
dont we realise that we have taken advantage of them? we were so rude to them?the simplest of things they ask us to do, we don't. we say that we got other things to do.we put them through so much, and we complain about the simplest matters. we're so childish.
i'm gonna change. for the better. today's crying session was horrible and so beneficial. it made me realise how stupid,stubborn,guilty i was.although my dad may seem to not believe in me. he may seem to ignore me. he may not allow me to take sports course in poly. whatever it is. it's nothing compared to what torture we gave them. and i realised this myself.everyone cried,boys and girls. it was really a reflecting point today.we have all been rude to our parents and lets change that now. i know i am.
after the crying session,i didn't eat dinner as there was alot to ponder about. then girlfriends and me headed to hockey pitch where they did the most beautiful thing. they called their parents and said sorry,thank you and i love you.i didnt call dad cause he was in a meeting.
headed back to class where i had another round of crying. people,i hope you all are fine:)
and today i felt horrible.it's the worst feeling of regret one can ever feel.let me tell you honestly. the amount of tears i shed during a break up for whatever amount of days, is the exact amount i cried today in just one hour. that's really alot.so now,i promis myself to change.
Dear Dad,i'm sprry for whatever i put you throught. i know i put you through hell and you still love us no matter what.i'm sorry for going against you and trying to get more freedom. i'm sorry for things that we do behind your back and you don't know till now.
i'm sorry for cursing you behind my back.i'm sorry for not helping you when you needed me the most. i'm sorry for going out with friends often .
 i'm sorry for that very time when you suspected i was in a relationship. i'm sorry for having a boyfriend when you specifically told ud not to,not now. i'm sorry for piercing my ear without you knowing. i'm sorry for rebonding my fringe.i'm sorry for everything else that affected you one way or another.
thank you for alwasy being there. thank for the advice and the scoldings.it made me who i am today and i have a clearer view of my future.
and dad,i will always love you deep dowm inside. my love for you is unconditional.just please understand that i am a girl,i have uncontrollable emotions. i tend to cry easily,i tend to get angry easily,i tend to show attitude easily.i'm extremely sorry for all this. i know what shit i put you throught .and i know i can never live if that pressure was put on my shoulders.

Dad,i love you :)

This is the last straw. I'm sick and tired of being bossed around. annoyed at always being the "smaller" one. pissed off at those who take advantage of me. i have my rights too and no one respects that. my days atrt off horrible,with unnecessary scoldings and me being blamed for almost anything.you dont treat me like the way i am supposed to be treated.bitch,i have feelings too. i hate doing stuff for others and not getting the help from them when i need it. i hate it when i cant get irritated at someone for asking me to help them although i'm busy,and they very well can get irritated when i desperately need their help.and i do wait till they are not busy,and still i dont get the help. i hate how people think they are superior.they take advantage of me. they scold me,trying to blame me for crap that didnt even exist in the first place.and these people can very well show me their effed up attitude,and whenever i do,they threaten me to let out secrets? blackmail me?even when it was promised that those secrets were never to be mentioned again. and i can't blackmail you.GREAT!
You act nice towards me when you want something. i hate you for that, i'm left out right?i'm always the extra one.the one not needed. your life will be peaceful without me right. you know what,i'm gonna make sure i'm stronger now. i'm not inferior. i can be bad,bitch. hell yeah,i'm gonna change. dont ask me for help anymore. why the hell should i help you when you have never helped me back once?lets see how you live with that! i definately dont need you in my life.you're gonna suffer in the end. coz realise it bitch, half your life depends on my help.

DON'T UNDERESTIMATE ME!

sorry for not blogging often.was held up with dance classes and awesome outings with friends:)

ok,i shall not talk about dance class yesterday.

today was party with arch babies!met up with ayu,sha and shamira at my house bus stop, and headed to syazman's house.

and yeah,they weren't prepared yet,so we were all stuck outside till about 2.15 LOL!

went in,and the atmosphere was really like a pub!

and rahziah,syazman and noraa cooked everything..the cake,spaghetti and donuts:) YUMMY!

so everything went well.. music was awesome!

guys and girls got "drunk" haha...we drank sparkling wine..i like:)

guys were taking "shots"(in plastic cups) and getting drunk..haha..so dramatic!

i got drunk till i almost kissed a guy O.O! ok,that was actually kinda weird,coz it was so damn close..HAHA..OK ENOUGH!!

hehe^^ and the best part was that,the house was only to us.syazman's parents weren't home:)

so yea,peepos danced a little..i sat in the dining area with the guys coz the hall no space for me :(

spilled wine on my dress -.- coz i dunnoe how to drink.haha!

and haziq made the awesome chocolate coated bananas (people,please dont let your imagination run wild again)

overall,its a party i ain't gonna forget:)

watched singh is kinng.. and finally left around 6+

almost everyone went to safra after that...i and rahziah went home...

tiring yet fun day:)

and yeah,i didnt do homework yet:((

okay enough of today..

i seriously hate 2 kinds of people now..

1-people who unnecessrily scold me..

2-people who wanna end friendship due to some fucked up misunderstanding.or just cause they dont get what they want.

1: i didnt do anything wrong.and you started shouting..seriously,whats wrong with you! when i try to say something to justify myself,you scold me for talking back.and when i keep quiet and listen to your stupid scoldings,you say i'm showing "face" to you..WTF! to hell with you.i dont bother anymore..do what you want. next time for sure,i swear i won't be all quiet.

2:so i mentioned about me wanting a tube dress,hotpants and off-shoulder blouse. well,the i'll love you forever part was AS A FRIEND.

and you misunderstood me :(

i knew something went wrong the moment i said i dont want a relationship,i've had enough..and you just didnt reply..so i guess that was the reason you randomly added me right?

and ur sec3..its not about the age and all..it's just that i want older guys..i've mentioned this to almost everyone..i dont know why,i just wont be comfortable with younger ones..so now,go ahead,and cut contact with me..LIKE I CARE.i dont hate you,i just hate the fact that you misunderstand almost anything i say. and BOOM,FRIENDSHIP OVER!

well yeah,i dont wanna blog anymore...i got a date with sis to watch phua chu kang which is on now:)

and tmrw,there's class..QSS syndrome noraza!

aite,imma eat the super spicy spaghetti from syazman's house:)

and i think i drank to muh wine..lol...got headache:((

gave dance a skip today.really unwell..thanks to sis! -_-
anyways,heading out with family later..do i have to??
i wanna finish off my homework by today..and start revising for poa and chem..haishh.
anyways,someone's asking me weird questions on formspring...maybe i should delete the formspring box on my bloggie..i think thats where these questions are coming from....anyways whoever you are,you have no rights to dig deep into my privacy...and such stuff you're asking,are not revealed on the net...if u really wanna know it,then u might as while text me or something...oh whatever!i dont give a damn.
yesterday i was watching the karaoke videos...urgh!i look weird sia!
and we were karaoke-ing so what by pink...syazman seemed drunk..all so kecoh!haha...i can't upload pics to my com...sad life:(
i'll try to upload them asap...if possible:)

ystd went to syazman's house to do thw online quiz...rahziah got 70%,me 80% and syazman 90%(coz we do for him)hahax!ate curry mee:)))yeay!
today had dance..quite ok uh..and i gave syazman a birthday present..haha..i played love me on the piano...awhh..i'm so sweet..hahaha!dont know if he heard the full one though:P
after dance,rushed home..took a quick shower..dressed up.
 met syazman and aisyah at khatib mrt..aisyah brought her DSLR which ran out of battery within an hour.. -.-PANDAI KAU!
made our way to orchard cineleisure...kbox...it was awesome!!!
anitha,halima,iryani and salina were there..sang quite a number of korean songs...haha..bonamana,run devil run..lol..it wasnt singing...more like we were all unleashed and screaming!..haha!!wtf!
then sang unfaithful and take a bow...and taylor swift's songs:)
halima say my voice nice when i sing take a bow..haha..i kembang siul!!!
then i sang with my boyfriend:))) no air....awwhh...damn sweet!got alot of emotion..
happy 17th gay bday:) love ya!
ordered drinks and left after singing take a bow again....
ate at pastamania...iryani and halima bought cool glasses..me bought hairband and rubber band..
finally,i have a hairband..and i'll make sure that haziq or syazman will not break it during dance class!
after eating,took few more pics..then headed home with halima and iryani...
and i loved what i wore today..haha...it defines your body shape?i'm not sure if i put that right..but i likee:)
so, reached home abt 7+ bought milk tea!
tmrw there's dance..SPOILER!
anyways,i hade a great time today...and hell yeah,we need more outings:)
thanks for an awesome time people:)))

my life's quite "happening" eversince i created formspring and twitter.haha..at least i have something "new" to do:)
anyways,dance went okay today..no malay class..got cancelled..
and dad repaired my com...which is good yet bad..good coz i dont have to beg my sis to lend me her lappy anymore..and bad coz i may not be able to go to syazman's house tmrw:(
ohwell,took bus to school with syazman today..missed two buses..SWAY!
and i miss noraza!hahax..no one to text..
oh,i texted you at 12.00 last night...was so upset since you didnt reply..thank goodness you were online:) haha..finally you chatted with me!
ok,all that aside..wednesday!i can't wait!!hahax:)
and i saw you in school today:))) SMILE BIG BIG!
aite,i cant blog much..ned to finish up the important lessons essay thingy..and maths quiz!is super hard!!!! its like algebra bombings..i'm so not doing it...i'm gonna do it with rahziah!

havent blogged for a long time!!!computer spoilt...haish...using sis lappy:)
well,alot happened but i can't possibly mention everything...
sports heats cancelled,coz it was raining..sad life:((
sports heats postponed to 22nd march...
well,this week got lots of events uh..birthdays and school and extra classes...whoa...gonna be hectic!
so,holidays have started...but i havent done any homework:)
noraza's going to kl tmrw..with the beautiful blue nail polish...my nails look weird sia..i painted half dark blue half purple..i want blue!!
anyways,japan's tsunami..that was real shocking..i just hope my friends in japan are doing fine..
miri,jin hyun,won jin,daisuke....hope u all are doing fine...
sis just cancelled the movie we were supposed to go to..woah!!thn plan for what sia...i know you're sick and all..you could have told me earlier right...today is the last day i can enjoy...tomorrow onwards got dance and extra classes... :((
i'm not gonna enjoy this "hollidays"
anyways,past few days have been texting noraza like crazy..and yeah,obviously my phone bill gonna blast!!i needa cut down!!!
and i can't wait for tmrw:))
its your birthday...and i'll have a reason to txt you:)) tomorrow,please come faster!!!
oh well,today,skipped class...couldnt visit QSS syndrome place..haha...and noraza!where is my skinny jeans!!!!i want them lehh!!! :(
and i wanna get my arse out the house today...my life so boring now...everyone busy.... haishh...
okay,i've got nothing else to blog about..i need my computer really really badly!!need to upload cereal day pics + ayu house pics + vandalising adeline's hand and paper pics...

-When You Don't Mean A Thing,Anymore.

cereal day was awesome:) i loved it to bits!will upload pics on fb soon..my computer shut down on me..i cant on it back!!so i'm using sis computer:)))
anyways,tmrw is sports heats..100m,400m and 1500m..whoa!!!nervous!
so,pledge taking went ok today..i know my voice damn soft..haha..
and yeah!!i passed poa!!OMG!!till now,im shocked..me got 32/40...YEAY!!
after school...had "coaching"
haha..more like bumming in commerce room and listening to music...except for fazil and haziq-they did maths -.-
haha...headed to ayu's house a while..ooo..ice cream!!!
then went back with syazman...
sis went to poly to submit forms...
she came back,i fetched her and we bought cake ...coz it was maid's bdae...so yea,all that and blablabla...did homework...and i wanna play piano:))
adios people...i'll try update bloggie and fb whenever i can:)
and please,i dont need any more shit in my life...
no more guys whose name starts with letter N for the moment...thank yooh!

school was average today.nowadays,i'm not doing p.e,coz its mainly soccer.and i hate soccer.and the teacher does not realise that everytime we do soccer,one person will get injured.stoopid fellow!
ohwell,today i wasnt much of a rebel:)
tmrw is cereal day!!had dance today,quite good:)
then rahziah and syazman accompanied me to buy cereal for tmrw's awesome event:)
bough honey stars,koko krunch,and corn flakes...
haha..can't wait:)
and yeah,last minute,i just got notified today that i need to say the pledge tmrw..
well,seems easy right?WRONG!
tried out just now with teacher...woah,need to say it quite slow..i mean,its not like the normal speed we usually say it..haha..and and,for the first time,i even forgot the pledge -.-
GOSH!nervous much!rahziah doing quote for tmrw..and friday we both doing flag raising!yeay!
and dad went overseas today...so,i use straightening cream for my hair,but it didnt work,hair still looks sucky!sad life!
anyways,my sis has nto buy for me some stuffs for my birthday provided i get her the 4 skirts she wanted...
so,if u pass by my blog,read this,so it gets into ur head.BUY ME 2 HOTPANTS AND ONE OFF-SHOULDER BLOUSE.AND GET ME ACCESSORIES:))) I LOVE YA!
hahaha..and NORAZA!!!BUY ME SKINNY JEANS!! GREY COLOUR!TMRW WILL GIVE YOU THE $! I LOVE YA!
and who else?oh salina,thanks for big bang poster again:)taeyang so hot..
TMRW IS CEREAL DAY!and its so hard for me to believe that rusydi and shanmuka dont have a bowl and spoon at home..well,i pity them,let them share with me:) haha:)))
so,tmrw is gonna be hell of an awesome day:)
aite people.i need to do a lil homework which is due on friday,so that i dont have to stress myself tmrw(P.S,i dont think i'm doing it!)

tomorrow there's P.E and dance.i actually can't wait:)
hehe^^
anyways,i got 34.5/50 for physics..and 10/20 for social studies..urgh!!my marks not good:(((
heck uh,my chem and geog will push up the grades for combined subjs:)
today brought sweets to school:) sat with rusydi in class..laughed like crazy..disturbed fazil..lol!
and recess time there was a fight...woah,damn damn bad...
andand,i saw ya looking at me...haha.. *melts* LIKE AS IF!
well then,had geog..i think i really anti the teacher..me and noraza went to toilet before class...coz we damn vain:)
then she 'interoogated' us..then she ask why we go toilet..haha,i said that i wanna go when i feel like it..
LOL!i saw noraza give me "THE STARE"
then she ask me stand outside class-.-
well,good actually,didnt have to listen to her nagging..
and the whole class was shocked coz i was supposed to be the "GOOD ONE"
haha!!!SEC 5,LAST YEAR IN SCHOOL,BE A REBEL!
haha..stood outside class for one period..then she come talk to me...i act innocent..didnt look at her face,not because i was disappointed with myself,but coz i'll laugh when i see her face...somemore,ITS CLOSE-UP! o.o!
well,that was all uh..da dfetched me back..K.O at home although i had piles of homework:)
just finished it,currently texting noraza..andand,wednesday is CEREAL DAY!!!WHOO!i havent buy cereals yet:(
TOMORROW FOR SURE:)

last day for slacking:( i hate it when weekends pass too fast. got lots of homework and revision to do. all i did was one paragraph of social studies.left with english compo and physics. i hate hmwk.
anyways,grandma's birthday today!!!happy birthday!!! and its also mr ashraf's bdae..haha..i miss him!
well,had class today...texted noraza that i passed by the syndrome school..we should go there together one day:)
and in class,my sis pao to me sia...say that my fringe cannot be down..must have proper appearance:(
no life sia she..so now,every sunday i cant have fringe:((
CONFIRM BENGKOK SIAL!
next 3 weeks gonna be very hectic...got ALOT OF THINGS!!!
havent bought cereal and milk for cereal day..dammit!think i'll buy it later..
oh well,gonna head to grandma's place soon:) gotta shower..
AND ADELINE!!WHEN ARE WE GONNA GUY WATCH????
and scandal,i love the song toy soldier- keri hilson...so......sakit hati:)

here's my 201 post..lol..i'm too bored to do anything else.
i need a outing with scandal..i wanna tell her a whole bunch of things that i didnt tell her last time..
coz i was confused..and i know she has a whole lot more to tell me..so yea,we need this quality time:)
other than that,i ate it when people mention a certain name..it's irritating..just stop it.stop ruining my life...especially you-seriously,you changed effing too much.!
ok,this stuff dont belong on my blog..i guess i'll update my tumblr then:)
and you're not matured enough for your age:)

Wee~~ to my 200th post:)
okay.woke up super early today for medical...
doctor say my waist very thin -.- too thin for my age...MORE SIAN!
then wanted to go out...texted noraza,she couldn't..site,so i'm just bumming at home..
anyways,after medical, went to grandma's house..
she likes to hug me,she say i very thin -.-
and sis went out with her friends...i came home..aunt dropped me and came up for a while..then she headed to grandad's place.
AND I 'M OH SO BORED!
oh btw sean,sorry i didnt talk to you properly the past few days..
i get irritated quite easily nowadays..and overall,the week wasnt a good one..
SORRY ANNEI!! <3
well,thats all for today uh..tmrw got class in the morning..then might head over to grandma's place(ITS HER BDAY)
yeay! :)
i wanna eat cake...
ohwell,gonna fb for awhile..then i gotta plan lots of things...like A-LOT!!! need to plan for cereal day in school..need to plan for people's bdaes..well,if i'm doing it though..
i dont like march..so many ppl bdae clash-.-20,23,24 march..AIGOO!!
aite,enough blogging..im having an "awesome" headache now.. and i just realised i forgot to text hanafi..uh-oh!i better text ya!
and one last think,i just founf you cute..haha..thinking about it over a million times,i dont want you...seriously..ur just cute...ta'

hey bloggie.TGIF!woah.finally!
anyways,today i feel all weird..but in a good way..somethings wrong with me..THIS ISNT SUPPOSED TO BE HAPPENING..
anyways,i passed malay..woah,i'm awesome!!haha...just scraped through:)effing proud of me!
and sadly,the table chat thingy,no one reply:((haha..whoever she is,she's awesome...coz she layan me:)
brought makan to school:)) butter cookies and chocolate cake..
then in malay class i passed butter cookies to noraza,salina and aisyah sitting behind me...haha..then teacher caught aisyah tryna eat it..smart girl,go show teacher -.-!
then she suspected noraza or salina who distributed the cookies..when she found out it was me,she said that i could be a successful illegal smuggler coz she didnt see me distribute the cookies-.-!
haha..woah,the whole class laughed like crazy sia!
and she said i'm licik...idk what that means..idk if i spelt it right.:)
shaa didnt come sch today..i miss her!
anyways,classes went normal...then had dance...woah,today damn tiring..one new step..like finally..then the indian guys all come and watch us..embarassing much..
and the costume is awesome i swear..on SYF day,i gonna camwhore in the costume ..haha!
well,idk whats happening to me..goodness,did the rumours start again?
its the first time u appeared in dance class today...
maybe i just find u cute...nothing else...i gotta keep to my promise...i dont want heartbreaks anymore lehh!!
ohwell,we'll see how things goes...haishh..i feel so mean,the time when u wanted me,i rejected you..and now.....ayee,i just find you cute kaes...i dont want you...YET!
hahaha...nah,who am i kidding!i know it'll never happen..my mindset is such..POLY GUY FOR SURE!

andandand-i hate attention seekers..seriously..
and i hate one guy,who used to be my bro,my "bestie"...and now,idk whats gotten into you..you're just not you.....i dont wanna say anything anymore..P.S-i dont even wanna layan your eff-face!
oh btw,took bus home..drank oreo chocolate ice blend(the first one in 2011) bus-ed back with syazman..as usual,being the sweet girl i am,sent him to overhead bridge:)


tmrw- medical appt...URGH!!!MALAS LUHHS!

today was awesome!!although i kinda emo-ed during the first half of the day..well,i just wasnt feeling like myself..idk why..anyways,recess cheered me up!was fasting,didnt eat recess too..
sat with a few kentalians...slacked during recess:)))
then planned an awesome event that we thought was actually a joke..
cereal eating day next wednesday..cool right!!!
we're obviously the first ones to do this..
sec 5,last year in school...do whatever you want babeh!!!
so imma bring the cereals and all..they just have to bring their own bowl and spoon..then we'll eat!!!
yeay!!can't wait...gonna snap snap alot of pics:)))
so after all that event planning...normal lessons and all...before coaching,went with noraza to buy french fries at mac..blanja her fries..
she stupid,go and campur the curry sauce inside-.-
so,geog coaching today...sat beside noraza,mano behind me,jia yin behind noraza..
then noraza put her french fries on the table...mano wanted,so i gave her...
then turn around,teacher shout sia..WTF!!!
NO EATING IN CLASS!!!
then i damn rebel rdy..haha..i seriously shouted back till she wanted to send me out of class..i mean,firstly my friend is hungry,secondly i didnt eat,thirdly,i feel like laughing when u scold me...coz ur english jialat to the max!
so yea,then she said:just because u get 21/25 for geog test doesnt mean you can give people food.
HAHA!!THAT WAS THE LAMEST THING I EVER HEARD!!!obviously,she didnt know what to say...
then i scolded her sia...woah!i feel so superior..i mean,what has my marks got to do with giving food to a friend-.-
then noraza damn panic sia...asking me to stop shoutign..she scared i get blue form..haha...
so cute..dont worry luhh babe,as long as i dont get suspended...
then the teacher asked me to shut up...HAH!so in her face.
yeah..so that cheered me up even more!wish i was like that everyday:)))
i learn from jia yin!haha...i remember when she scolded mr ravi for not allowing us to go recess..
awesome!!
well,after coaching,did maths re-re-retest..finally passed..could have gotten full marks..was quite careless..
then it poured heavily so dad picked me up..
theres dance tmrw..haiss..i no mood again...
and imma bring home food to school tmrw..till next week? haha..yeah!
aite people,got prayers and homework to do....byeee

okay..drama just started..gonna watch wafter i blog..
today nothing much..got chemistry test results...super happy with results!!!
42/50:)))
so physics fail nehmind.haha..
and yeah,i'm finally getting the hang of poa...i guess i'll start mugging poa like crazy..
and i'm weird today,this is the first time i did poa homework..and got the correct balances. o.o
HAHAX..anyways,no coaching today...maths re-retest...failed again..due to a bunch of careless mistakes..fml!
and today i and nani were talking about nigahiga..
and yeah,one discovery today!!aisyah does the stupid hair flick exactly like bieber...and noraza gets turned on by that..haha..wth!
oh well,i aint gonna blog anymore...watch tv then off to bed..nights people..
I LOVE YA! :)

let me narrate to you my "awesome" day at school today..
firstly,went to school,stuffing my head with poa's financial ratios which are oh so complicating..
did mass run with notes in my hand...then had to run extra round...coz yeah,i was busy revising and didnt even run-.-
then back to class..everything was fine,classes went well.didnt do p.e (although it was floorball)..got alot alot of sweets: yipee!
then recess,didnt eat..spent time revising:)
BOOM!physics test...urmm..almost half of what i studied,didnt come out...gosh,i pity myself..
then had a little time to revise for poa...memorised the formula's and format for control account...dengan semangatnyer,when i got the paper,i wrote down all the formulas and the formats..
then,yeah,NO CONTROL ACCOUNT!waste my time memorising format...financial ratios-urgh!only a few questions..
most of the questions were crappy...its like,there's the ledger given...and the question asks us to explain why "---" is debited or why "---" is credited...and all the source documents and whatever shit..FAILURE GUARANTEED:)
but yeah,felt relieved after that..end of common test yeah!
whoo!
but but but! had maths re-retest!WHAT THE....
did whatever i could...then people asking for answers..haissh...5 years of togetherness,it wouldnt be nice if i said no help...
so yeah,helped a friend out,and got caught by teacher....
aigoo..then she said she'll give me 0 for test...wow!so much for my hard work..well,heck care uh..if i dont do well for this test,or if she give me 0..i'll just keep on failing till she realises she's wasting a whole lot of money printing retest after retest..
anyways,headed for dance..no mood rdy..dance ruined my mood even more..small small things also scold...
lekha and dhashaini cheered me up:) yeah babeh!!thanks loves<3
went home with syazman and rahziah...ate mcflurry WITH EXTRA OREO!yummy:)
bus-ed back with syazman..sent him to overhead bridge-I'm so Sweet:)
then headed home..dad still not so well..haissh..take caresss!!!
and imma slack today....no touching of any study material!!!yeay!
and to ruin tmrw's day...there's 4 periods of poa...woah..good luck vini.
and ayuu!!thanks for passing me my uniform!!