I actually thought it'd be easy to just say everything i needed to.
i was so wrong.
anyways, me and noraza are back as friends again..
well, i hope there won't be anymore fights between us. :)
adelinehohoho never text me. i hate her.
so, malay orals tmrw.
i'm so dead! i'm having a effed up headache now and i ain't gonna study.
tmrw is YES day! nani dared me to say yes to everything.. LITERALLY EVERYTHING. she even gave me examples.
LOL.
okay, i need to study.
need to deactivate facebook.
need to talk with adeline and noraza.
 need to sort things out with myself.


Cutting my hand is so my thing.

SCHOOL TOMORROW!
omgomg, i'm so not ready!
i haven't completed homework.
i haven't cut my nails.
i haven't paint my nails (must paint it clear colour :P)
i haven't pack my bag.

goshxcz!
anyways,i wasted my june holidays.
i didn't study no shit!
i slacked my way through.. haizz.. i hate myself.
oh well, hard mugging starting now:)
i gotta go do homework. can't waste anymore time.
Stupid UNCLE SAM not online.

anyways, i cant believe i eneded my friendship with my bff. pfft. sorry ex-bff.
you changed alot. your attitude. i can adapt to people when they change.. but you and your bitchiness, CAN EFF OFF:)
tysm<3

I MISS YOU SAM!

:(((((((((((((

It's only been one day and i miss you like hell !

I hate this.

omg, my maid just came by and saw this post. DIE!

anyways, gonna be fetching dad later.. :) YAY!i miss him:))

rahziah came over to do POA. i hate POA!

so well, about yesterday, we planned to sort things out, but then you, as usual, had to be all bitchy and show us ur effed up attitude.

I don't even know you anymore. Could you be the way you were before.

nvmd,heck that.after that,sent matrep to bus stop.

AND MISSED THREE 854 BUSES !

lol. nevermind, get to spend time together:D

and yeah, my hairband got run over by a car:((

but it didn't break! strong uh my hairband!

must go buy new one..

AND CUPCAKES TASTE AWESOME! BUT ITS MORE LIKE COOKIES:/

hehe^^

i need to cuddle :(

kbye.

What's happening to our friendship?
Is it just me, or is our friendship really in the drains now?
Are you guys even my true friends? We're supposed to be best friends, we used to be so close.
Why is everything changing?
We don't talk as often, even if we do, it's not the normal,fun talks we used to have.
Why are we getting mad at every little thing? We used to call each other bitch or whatever, and we never used to get mad about it.
Why do you get mad now?
So today, bottle tree park. I wanna settle things today. I seriously can't take it anymore.
Today, i know you both are gonna get the wrong impression of me. Coz I'm gonna meet you guys for awhile, and then head off with sam.
But please, how many times have you ditched me, and how many times have I ditched you?
I never made any issue about it, so don't you make an issue about it too.

Friendship bands are such a curse. We shouldn't have gotten it in the first place.
Mine broke. So yeah, am I gonna be drifting away from you guys?
Please, lets just work things out.
I can't bare to lose two close friends.
I miss how we were. We never used to fight, never used to get angry.
We've helped each other so much during bad times,now it's like I have no one to go to for advice.
And look what's come to my life, I made the wrong decisions.

I NEED YOU BOTH. STOP IT WITH YOUR SLY INTENTIONS PLEASE.

i feel so evil now.
supposed to meet up today again at 6.30 plus i guess.
and then i called it off :(
well,i was with adeline.
i can't push the blame totally to her, its kinda my fault too. and i feel so terrible about it:(
okay, truthfully, i miss you. i wanted to see you today!
school finished an hour earlier today,so me and bff headed to northpoint..
slacked awhile, then she texted you to come earlier.
haizz.. then at 6pm, he replied saying he'll reach at 6.30.
like obviously la! u live at hougang, so far!
and it was actually kind of sweet that you wanted to come all the way to yishun just to see me even for half an hour:)
so yeah, date got called off
we went to skate park then, slacked awhile..
then went back home..
came home and i realised that i should've met you.. i dont know when we can meet again
FML.
i'm so so so sorry! :(
i know that you're super sad and all.haizz
come online soon:)

and yeah, i dont know what i'm doing with my life.
many have told me that i gave you the wrong impression by allowing you to hug me and hold my hand..
yeah, maybe...
i dont know if its you i want.i mean, its great to be around you and all, but i just don't know if you're "the one"
won't it be weird, if now, i said that i don't like you, i don't have a crush on you.
and you'll be left thinking "wtf?, i already hugged her and held her hand and told her i like her!she was fine with it then, why now the sudden change?"
thats the problem with me. i don't know how to react to certain situations at that point of time.
i'll end up making decisions which will scar me for life in the end.
i'm not good at this.
i'm too soft hearted.. not willing to hurt people...
maybe this was why i didn't pull away when you hugged me or somthing..
plus, if i did pull away,it'd probably be awkward moments for the rest of the day.
i'm sorry, i'm making huge mistaked that i'm unaware of.
i can't make decisions on my own.
I SUCK.
imy,like seriously.

Met Sam yesterday.
Not how I expected a date to turn out, but still it was awesome..
So yeah, Summary!
Had an awesome time yesterday with that matrep:P
Well, for now i think its just a crush. and i need to keep to my promise of having a bf only when i'm in poly:D
Not sure if he's gonna be the one though.LOL
i can't help but to think of yesterday!!
Unintentionally held hands, i didn't know how to react, so i just let it be. Maybe I gave him the wrong vibe..Haizz...
But whatever it is, I know we can get along pretty well!Both of us have same family issues.and we both speak malay!AWESOME:D
wonder when i can meet again, my freedom time is ending on wednesday:(
And yeah! "SOMEONE" saw me cuddling with him.. WHAT WAS THE NEED TO TELL MY CLASSMATE?
all of a sudden he texted me asking where I am.
DAMN NOOB I SWEAR!
Anyways, lets take things slowly..
AND STOP TRYNA BREAK MY BONES:P
oh yay!you're online!

omg, i didn't blog for 13 days!
blogger is getting kinda boring now..
i prefer tumblr (Y)
didn't tumblr for 4 days..  FELT LIKE HELL!
so yeah, yesterday went with lekha and sis to watch mr.poppers penguins, IT WAS AWESOME!
cut my fringe two days back.. not used to it yet.. looks weird i guess.
so well, me is gonna use tumblr now:)
BYE.

I CAN BECOME LESBIAN JUST LIKE *SNAP* THAT!

hi world.
Today is Sunil's Birthday. Just thought I'd let you know:)
Tsk. he doesn't even know I exist. Will be so awkward if i add him up and wish me..
LOL.. tsk, my ex-crush:D
Happy Birthday Ex-Crush! :D
anyways, i haven't been following my timetable.. i suck at rules!
-.-"
so yeah, i told "RS" that it wasn't me sending those messages to him..
i finally realise that it wont turn out well.
so yeah,waiting for a reply till now:)
and once again,she made me realise things i've been hiding..
i should just be lesbian huh?
yeah, in a relationship with noraza:D we talked about being lesbian.. omg!
haha.. alright,i'm gonna tumblr and reblog and reblog and reblog..:)

I NEED TIME.

i hate those guys. it's been 3 so far.
we know each other for like what? 1 week?2 weeks?
and here you are saying, "i've got a crush on you" "i'm attracted to you "
GEEZ!
oh hell yeah,i'm gonna have to break your heart..
at least i do it right at the start. i'm not like "some" people, who get your hopes up,and then crush you in the end.
and yeah, neither of you are gonna be "the one"
i promised myself,and this time i'm not breaking my promise.
so you can go do whatever shit you wanna do, sweet talk and flirt however you want,nothing's gonna work.
GET-A-LIFE.
no,i'm not ready for this yet. i don't think i'll ever be. coz i'm keeping to that promise of mine.
that promise is gonna be hard to keep.

i am so gonna blog about every single detail that happened today:) coz today was just too awesome!
so yeah,went to school with birthday chinamaid girl! WE WERE LATE! thanks to me:)
then,planned last minute,to have a celebration for her:)
after school,went home,got clothes for me and noraza,then went to adeline's house to get her clothes and headed to lower seletar reservoir..
kentalians reached there before us! sorry we kept u all waiting:)
cake was awesome! i swear! then it started pouring heavily
it sort of ruined what we planned,yet made it even fun..
coz everyone started hiding behind the stairs to prevent getting wet. damn cute i swear!
then guys took off their shirts.. tsk-so hot!
they Danced at the podium area,and everytime there was lightning,they'll come running down... haha! cute!
then,it was too damn cold.. so we all group hug:) awwww<3 damn sweet can!
and yeah. i learnt something today!
hugging a girl when you are cold doesn't make much of a difference. hug a guy and you'll feel so warm..
i swear,so yeah.. it was like random long hugs from guy friends:) O.o
then rain subsided, went to shelter,then played in the "water playground"
haha.. so fun!!!
the water so warm:)
after that,they all went home! then adeline and noraza accompany me to go home:)
and a last minute plan to go amk hub to buy KOI!
haha.. so yeah,showered and all... tsk.. so maifun,must give them towels, and my clothes!
noraza dressed up in all my clothes!haha.. coolness:)
then left the house and went amk hb,bought koi,walked around in amk hub...
then adeline kept on bugging me to call shive-she wanted him to wish her happy birthday-.-NOOB SIAL!
so yeah,called,he didnt answer-.-!
lol..went home around 6.30+
in the bus,adeline was STANDING ALONE. FOREVER ALONE.
haha.. accompanied noraza to bus stop.. and otw there, we were speaking like typical indians.. lol..
went home,helped dad out in housework-i so sweet!
lol,thats about it la..it was damn fun i swear:)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHINAMAID! I EFFING LOVE YOU:)))))

-and dear people,it just seemed that way,please stop assuming. if you do, i just can't be myself around you,and i don't want that. how do i even explain to you? ugh. life sucks at times like this. so yeah,no assumptions please? the stares you gave me today as we walked to the shelter was too disturbing for me:(