Life sucks man.
It's been days since you looked at me, smiled at me, said hi to me.
And I'm feeling so concerned about it.
And thanks to that beetch, I can't even face you anymore. Fuck awkwardness.
Lets name this beetch M.
So yeah, school finishes right. So I'm with M and a couple moe friends, heading to Wendy's before coaching.
And yes, he was outside my class area.
That that stupid M started screaming and yelling my name. Like whut the fuck bitch?
And worst still, shouted his name too.
Wahlao, got problem with me is it. Ass sia.
And I actually wanted to say hi or atleast smile at him.
That won't happen. I bet that'll never happen anymore.
I'm so insecure sia. Low self esteem. Why the hell would he ever like me.
Haiss. I'd rather die than to see his face again.
I just lost all hope and courage to tell him I like him.
You know what. Just leave it. I don't even wanna tell him anymore.
My life sucks. That's coz people ruin it. And I hate those people.

I remember when he first fb chat with me. Haha. He so indian sia.
And when he said hi. I swear that was like the bestest day ever:) Although he smiles like a pedo -.-
Then he asked me to say hi to him, or just acknowledge his existence.
Gosh, I had so much hope back then. Hope that he actually liked me.
Then all of a sudden, he never smiled. Never talked. Never even looked at me.
Why suddenly sia? Saw you in the bus that day, you didn't smile or say hi.
Haiss. But yet, I feel so satisfied just seeing you.
Heck it. Your life. I don't wanna interfere. Maybe you're attached or something.


-I like you. I still do. But now I have to fucking get over you. And I don't know how to do that.
Please don't smile at me, don't look at me, don't say hi to me. Or else, I'll start liking you even more. And I don't want that.

back home from school gonna go catch movie with sis. at bishan:)
oh well, today I didn't see my baby at school..
SAD!!!! =(((
oh oh! and i bet adeline's OH SO HAPPY NOW!! congrats girl!! :)
anyways, i shall not rant about my baby.
26 days left to o levels. OMFG!
20 oct- practical.
21 oct- graduation ( the day i tell my baby that i had/have a crush on him )
22 oct- my birthday but i cant celebrate it because
24 oct- start of all o level written papers.
sibei sian sia.

i got nothing else to talk about though :/
i feel so shitty.
yesterday and today.
It's like, I've never had anyone treat me so special before.
Yes, i do mean guys.
They just go away and disappear once they don't get what they want.
It sucks man.
I've never had any one guy that's always been there for me, through thick and thin, whether I accept him as a bf or not.
I just need a guy friend. Yes. I am deprived.

I wanna be treated like how he treats adeline.
If only I could find someone with his charactertraits.
Gosh, that'd be awesome. He'll be like the perfect boyfriend.

Anyways, shall not rush into things though.
I'm beginning to lose hope on my "baby"
there's no progress. Might be cause of O levels though.
Haiss, anyways, I need to spend 20+ days to gather up enough courage to tell him I like him.
And hopefully, he ain't one of the guys who'll disappear after I tell him I like him.
I just hope we remain friends. I don't think he'll disappear.
He seems nice.
And I like nice people:)

5 MORE DAYS TO MY EX MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY.
LOL. who gives a shit.
Anyways, just came home from khatib.. met up with adeline, she was with brandon
gosh, they look real sweet together.
Got me reminded of so many things:(
anyways, she saw my baby today. Unfair.
haiss. anyways, i'd rather give up on him.
I mean, he barely acknowledges me when we see each other.. maybe he found out about "that thing"
oh heck it. I'll just ignore you, if that's what you're gonna do.
oh well, i HAD a crush on you .
and i promised myself and also to adeline. i promised to tell him that I "HAD" a crush on him.
well, i'll tell it after graduation, coz if its bad news, i dont wanna get affected and screw up my Os.

anyways, studied yesterday like some nerd. and i slacked today TOO MUCH!

I'm really glad to see adeline so happy. i guess she finally found her perfect bf?
they're so sweet. and yes, i'm jealous.
I mean, I've never had any guy treat me that way.
The guy's usually quite shy, and we barely talk and stuff. so yeah, its awkward and sucky.
but they, they'll make a great couple.

OH WELL, AT LEAST ONE OF US IS HAPPY:)

alright, i'm feeling all down and emo-ish right now. ugh. I wish I had someone now. This feeling sucks.

Haven't been updating for a while now.
Mainly coz of Prelims and also coz my Tumblr is more attractive( due to my current obsession with Zayn Malik)
I shall not rant about it, but I swear I can reblog EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT HIM ON MY TUMBLR.
My tumblr's kinda full with his pictures.
Gosh, could he be any hotter.
Anyways, prelims just ended today. LIKE FINALLY!
Next hurdle- O LEVELS. *jeng jeng jeng*

 i told noraza my whole 24th august story.
i didn't wanna hide anything from my besties.
So, I've got nothing else to update .
hehe^^

oh yeah, One Direction's song What makes you beautiful is like at the top of the charts!! OMFG OMFG OMFG. i swear, thats the bestest song ever.. especially zayn's verse.
goodness, zayn and his sexyness ;)

Proud to be a DIRECTIONER:))))

okay, i haven't been studying for the past few days. I'm so gonna regret this.

Let's see.. You liked almost all my pics, you liked almost every status of mine and you chat with me almost everyday, and guess what, you are kinda "committed" to someone.
DUDE, SERIOUSLY?

anyways, i went to meet adeline and irza today.. buying stuffs for yanty's celebration.. we were thinking of getting a pinyata.
i mean, its cool what!!! whack whack the thing... and that satisfied moment when all the sweets fall down:D
k. maybe i'm just deprived.
then irza texted "the hot guy"..
omg... they're ruining my life!
i only said he looks hot when he isnt in school uniform.. I DON'T LIKE HIM!
and yeah, she said that someone has a crush on him, and he guessed me...
OMG! seriously-.- WHY ME?? OUT OF ALL POSSIBLE PEOPLE, WHY ME?!
ugh, wonder if they're still texting..
gosh, now i can't even say hi to him in school. sucks man.

oh yeah, talked with adeline on the phone for like 2 hours yesterday. gosh, we talk about literally everything!
and i'm always like " I miss ----"
then she'll scream in the phone " NO!! I'll make you have feelings for ---- again"
LOL.

---- texted me yesterday.. k i didnt reply. and i was kinda harsh when you fb msg me.. but seriously, you miss me?
haha.. cool story bro. ain't falling for that again, and getting my future down the drains.

okayy.. i gotta stop blogging about details. i type too much.
i got food waiting for me, and i guess imma study poa after that. SUCKY!
that stupid disposal account and provision for depreciation account JUST SUCKS!
kbye. food waiting for me.

omgomg, holidays end faster can. I EFFING MISS YOU!

9 september got too many things on..
Jalan raya, byanty's bdae celebration, pri school gathering..

no choice, gotta stick with the bdae celebration, coz i planned it.

haiss. sad sia.

now my phone so damn silent, jonathan never text me
huhuu~ He stalks me:)
LOL.

oh well, he's a nice person and all :)
I miss small ears.
wahlao, not even 3 days yet! oh wait, its 3 days.. but still!!!! imy!

anyways, Zayn malik looks exactly like sam..
ugh... nevermind.. change topic.

I WANNA GO SEE ALL TIME LOW!!! gosh, i'd do anything to see alex gaskarth!

might be catching a korean horror movie with aisyah and peeps on aisyah's bdae..
whoo.. like fun oni..

OH yeah!!! Smurfs was smurfingly keeyut!

-the butterfly on my hand got washed away:( must ask people draw for me(that way, they're extra special, must take really good care)

gonna sleep with plaited hair today. i wanna see how i look with permed hair..

hehe^^

okay, gonna chat with people on fb.. and watch ryan's videos.

buhbye:)

- dad, i swear i wanted to take part in the marathon.. like wtf is your problem sia! i take part, you will scold, i never take part, you ask me to take part.. stupid sia.

Great. Just great.
Sis cancelled the movie..
Stupid sia. Plan everything, then cancel.
You're only good for that.
And i definitely know the reason for it, coz he isn't coming right.
Well, you should at least appreciate the fact that I didnt mind him coming.
I hate you.

Planning to go with Navin..
At least I know he won't cancel on me .
Hopefully dad will allow me to go.
I wanna watch Smurfs in 3D! :D
omgomgomg.

yeah.so bye.

Currently texting Navin..

Omg, must text karan =O

Anyways, me and sis gonna watch smurfs later..

i hope she doesn't back out the last minute.

You didn't come to school yesterday =( WHY!!!!

Now one whole week of holidays-.-

Stupid boy.

Adeline asking me for advice on her love life..

Haha, she's just like me sia..

oh heck it, we shouldn't evengive a damn about guys.

Just ignore him, he'll feel the pinch if he really misses you.

~ Register number 23 is still loved:)

Oh yeah, past few days have been awesome, i guess..

chang hong created a group on facebook for all our primary school friends..

gosh, there are about 100+ of us now... and we're planning a gathering..

haha. I miss chang hong.. He was like the bestest chinese guy I've ever met.^^

I wasted too many texts on you.Asshole.

I hate you so much. I mean, whats the use of telling others, when you yourself asked it to be kept a secret,

Bitch man you. So much for being "trustworthy"

Anyways, i'm kinda done with it.

Adeline asked me to be faithful to my small ears.huhuu~~

I want September to end fast. I want school to end fast.

I always expected too much. Tried to be someone I'm not.

-.-

Anyways, people change, so heck it.

- It sucks, i get flattered and develop feelings easily. I get emotional too fast, get pulled back to where I was before. But no, not this time. This time, I ain't gonna be all emotional again. I ain't gonna cry myself to sleep again. I've had enough. I ain't gonna cut my hand over something stupid. I can do this. I know I can. I just need to try a little harder. I'll make it through. I'll be the happy little girl I once was. I certainly do not need you.