today wasn't a good day.
I have no idea how you found out about MK.

and please, i just find him cute, i don't have a crush on him or whatever shit.

i saw MK two times, close up and even heard him speak.  oh wel, that doesnt matter anymore, because in the end, there's always an idiot who ruins everything for me.

Dear "bro"
i hate you. why do you think that i like him when all i said was "he's cute. look like vasantham actor." NO, I do not need his number. -.-

and do you really expect me to believe you now after all the lies you've said over the years? its so hard to trust anyone nowadays. Its so hard to trust YOU. and we're supposedly bro and sis. TROLOLOL. FAKe SHIT. and stop it with your playful slaps on my face. you think its cute? well, hows bout i try them on you? _|_

i don't believe you when u say you don't have a crush on me.

YOU ALREADY CONFESSED IDIOT. and now you're contradicting youself. wtfish man.

P.S- i hope my comment on you fb wall, knocks some sense into your numb skull.

Second attempt at moving on, FAILED.

the first one was my fault. and now, its all because of you.

You know what, i hate you. Like seriously.

Stop interfering in my life. I can handle my problems. go solve your own problems before you start interfering in mine.

okay, tomorrow, i'm gonna change. change back to the way i was in sec 4.

i miss myself in sec 4.

i was so close to you, and so close to them at the same time.

now, situations are such, i have to spend more time with them.

but no, tomorrow, i'm gonna make things work. even if it gets them mad, IDGAF.

your my bestie and besties dont just abandon each other and move on with another group of friends.

Im sorry(although i'm not exactly sure what i did wrong:/) love ya ! :)

tomorrow is a new day. I ain't gonna 'try' to move on anymore. let things be.

AND! i love my uncle. He's awesome.

I've already had 7 people say I did the right thing.

so, NO REGRETS:)

Movie date with Lekha today!
went to watch harry potter in 3D.

awesome shit I swear!!!

after movie, went to timezone.. thats the first time in this year I went to timezone:D
we were oh-so-immature!
lol..bus-ed back home with lekha..
nice day indeed:) thanks babe!!!
next outing: universal studios with ya!

okay, you're creeping me out!
just a few weeks ago, you were telling me how much you love *blank*
and last week, you wanted to patch back with *somebody*
ok, thats fine.
but this week i'm hearing that you like me..
WTF DUDE!!
why you so fickle minded one?
and i only see us as bro and sis/close friends.
you know, our whole class says that we suit to just be bro n sis..
and stop lying, just stop it.
there is no way, that lying will ever get a girl.
you've got to be a dumbass if you think lying would help you in getting a girl-.-
and asking my friends to say nice things about you to me, so that i will "fall in love" with you.. WONT WORK!
wtf sial, you're not even a nice person to start off with, what more "nice" things could anyone possibly say about you?
you're stupid, to think that any girl will fall in love with a guy who STMF all the time..
these kind of guys can go _|_ off.

so yeah, i'm just gonna move away from ya for a while...
till you get back to your senses..
you've gotta be loyal and faithful. you can't just playboy around beetch.

TROLOLOL: you called me babe-.- NO IMPACT AT ALL.

oh yeah, yesterday i broke down-.-

and i woke up realising that i was so stupid..tsk, as usual.

haiss.. anyways, prelims in less than a month . die die die!

GOTTA MUG MY ARSE OFF-.-

i miss our closeness. #randomshitzcx

Yesterday conference with shan and sean on the phone..
haha. i swear its damn funny sia.. i was  LOL-ing non stop :)

I LOVE THEM.

and I'm addicted to Chester See's Everything.

Such a sweet song. And He's so hot!

-You loved and left me,but still you kept me

Wanting more but feeling empty

Did you have to go? Will I ever know?

Love and leave me,You deceived me

The way you kissed was so misleading

I thought that you might stay,Then you went away...

-Before I close the chapter to your name,

There's a couple things I never got to say.

-Your eyes are wonderful

Your smile is too

Your laugh's contagious

And your heart is true

There's beauty in your touch

And your kiss is love

You're everything that every girl dreams of

YOU'RE EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME FALL IN LOVE.

*MELTS*

okkkkayyy.. i ahvent started on homework..

gonna download a few songs i guess.. then study like shit.

Prelims coming soon...

gahh, stressed ttm.

ANYWAYS, my life is going great now..

I've kept to my promise. And yes i'm proud of myself.

so, if you ever pass by this blog, wondering why i never reply to your texts and msn messages, its because....

I AIN'T CONTACTING GUYS WHOM I LIKE OR WHO LIKE ME.

I'm through with cutting my hand.

21072011
Hello Stalkers!

I saw MK at school.

His voice like duck. TROLOLOL.

Took tons of pics at school.

I LOVE 5NA.

Our bonding rocks!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CINDY!

ANWS....Idk if you actually meant what you said.
It was kinda unexpected when you asked me to be your gf-.-
Like cute sial.

220711
OK. rumours are spreading real quick.
now, almost everyone thinks that me and you are really bf and gf.
omfg. i hate this. please stop.
and i hate you.
why are you so dumb to do such things? that too, in school.!
yes, i'm concerned for you. 5 years of friendship,5 years being my brother. why wouldn't a sister be concerned.
well, i hope you're doing fine..
and I heard that you started doing "stupid things" ever since the day that i playfully was your gf.
PLAYFULLY.
please, i only se us as a bro and sis..nothing more, nothing less.
haiss..
take care and PLEASE DONT DO STUPID THINGS EVER AGAIN.

230711
ok, i saw your comment on fb.. k. nvmd. i think i'm assuming again-.-
I miss MK. i didn't see him mch yesterday.
gosh, how i wish i had the guts to talk to you..
but you don't even know i exist:(
nevermind, just leave it to fate.
so yeah, gonna head out with sis soon.
idk where we going also :/
AND SPONGEBOB MARATHON'S STARTED!!! :D

new episodes!!!

aites, gotta go now.. and seriously, MK is helping me alot with my life, although he doesnt know it:)

When I do things for others, its not appreciated.
When I do things for myself, its not understood.
NB! THEN I DO WHAT!
Its been almost a year and I'm still stuck in my freaking past, emo-ing over the same shit.I'M SO STUPID.
It's about time I forget everything and actually move on.
Gonne be hard but I have to.
Not all girls are the same. We just turn out to be bitches at times because we're too tired of getting hurt, emotionally and physically.
Enough with the hand cutting, I think i cut my hand around 50-70 times all because of this.
You don't understand me.
You don't understand the fact that I have to do certain things to forget about all that happened.

haiss.. anyways, today i say MK at school..
omg, he so cute:)
k.
#randomshitxcz

I ain't gonna hide anything.
Yes, I did it. In hopes to forget everything.
Its gonna be hard, but if you can do it, I can.
Live your life.
Please don't come back.
I'll fake a smile on my face just to show everyone I'm okay. I'm good at faking smiles.
All I know is that, there's no way out of this.
Never thought that one person could ruin my life.
I'll try to hate you from now onwards.

okay. i was kinda emotional last night. i tend to cry every night nowadays, and go to school with eye bags -.-
so yeah, i don't tell anyone about my problems. i just bottle them up inside me, hoping that i can solve them.
i don't wanna bother anyone else. Plus, i cant always rely on others for my life decisions. i need to be independent already.

I dont wanna have a crush on someone. I dont wanna like anyone. I dont wanna fall in love with a guy. Because I'm scared. Scared of me getting too possessive. Scared of me getting too worked up over petty issues. Scared of getting my hopes up and being crushed. I don't wanna fall in love with someone who won't appreciate me for who I am. I don't want a relationship with someone I don't have feelings for. I don't wanna keep someone waiting when I know its not gonna work out. Okay?I'm not like you.
No matter what happend, one thing's for sure. I never want to go through a break up again. It sucks. It really sucks.I dont wanna get all emotional again, cuuting hands and all that shit. Causing myself physical pain over emotional confusions.
No. Not now. I 've had enough. I can't even handle myself now. I'm just gonna move away from everything and everyone.
Thanks for caring about me at some point of your life.

Hello World! :D
today was a reasonably good day :)
woke up at 9+, headed to school to help out with the make up for indian dancers.
felt weird coz i wasnt dancing. haha
AND I WAS SEXAAAYYY TODAY! :D
headed to Kallang (i think) at around 1+ i guess.
then mangales was like questioning me.
you got bf uh? dont lie luh? i cannot believe?
ok, its irritating, yet cute.
then i kemband when she said this " wahh, you future boyfriend confirm damn lucky."
haha... ok, i kembang again-.-"
it was super hot over there..
then we ate magnum ice cream (Y)
i saw one indian guy in orange shirt- CUTENESS! LOL
the performance went great!!! it was like flawless!
i love you dancers:D
performance finished around 5+
OMG, I WAS SO TIRED!
i wore heels some more -.-"
then while waiting for the bus, a few nigros( i have no freaking idea how to spell it, heck, they're africans :D)
so yeah.. they wanted to take photos with us.. and apparently they are kinda touchy O.o
well, i guess that they're super friendly and its kinda their way of showing their friendliness or whatever..
one of them looked so indian..TROLOLOL! he almost put his hand around my waist O.O
anyways, headed back to school, waited for everything to be settled, then finally left school for home..
came home exhausted! shower, did homework..
I GIVE UP ON HOMEWORK!
its too much.. i just did Geography homework and packed my bag. i hate this _|_
ss test tmrw= DIE!
night class tmrw too= DIE!
oh well, life sucks.

finally the weekend.
I gotta catch up with so much homework.
anyways, I LOVE POA. k.random shit.
i finally have confidence in that horrid subject:D YEAH!
yesterday was SALINA'S birthday!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAY! :)
skipped coaching coz of my horrible headache. (i gotta stop skipping classes)
went to lower seletar reservior at around 5+, sabo-ed salina,adeline and noraza..
so fun!
dried up for like one hour.. and finally left at 6+
goshxcz. It was awesome i swear!
anyways, sis isn't gonna talk to me for 3 days coz I cute my hand -.-
Told ya its a habit .
haiss.. anyways, gonna do homework today.
and ALL THE BEST FOR THE PERFORMANCE TODAY INDIAN DANCERS.
ok, it probably finished..LOL

--I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT IN MY LIFE.
kbye.

today was kinda average..
coaching was one hour instead of 2..WHICH IS AWESOME!
And my sayang today a bit the weird -.-"
nevermind, he still cute:D
and sean slapped me like 10 times today.. stupid guy-.-
i never do anything also you slap -.-
sexual abuse bodoh:P
and whenever he hold my hand, it starts to itch.. -.-
i swera his hand somethign wrong..
and dont worry can, i wont do anything stupid:D
oh well, heck that..

tomorrow is my gay buddy's birthday..
SABO WITH POWDER! yeah!

and to you. i don't know if you ever read my blog.. but yeah, here's to ya.

our class is bonded. REAL BONDED. but the only thing is that there are two groups of friends i have from our class.
i need to mix with both groups. none of them must feel neglected..
i went to schoool with you for the past few days. which is fine. i even came back home with you. i used to go with rahziah whenever my dad was away.
and now, whe i don't go home with you, you're making an issue out of it?
wtf please, don't expect me to be around you always ok.
and i brought your shirt to return to you today..
wtf, its just a shirt and you said you don't want it today coz ur bag heavy..
like fvck you sial.

anyways, to hell with friendship and relationships and whatever shit.
 i'm just letting things be..
 kbye.

okayy.. just came back from a tiring day of school.
i miss my dad!
anyways, POA is awesome.. i can see the whole class bucking up! whoo! i love my 5 sodium kentals!
okay, that was random shit..
today someone pissed me off, but i cant remain angry at that person-.- ok.nvmd. CHANGE TOPIC!
oh yeah, i dont know why my class mates have a problem with me not going for night class.
well, the truth is i dont wanna go. its night, i got homework, i got things to do.
plus, its english-.- i'd rather concentrate on other subjects.
and you people think i'm boasting or whatever shit,,
ugh. like wtf is your problem man!-.-"

and today, i swear i was out of my mind!
i was so freaking close to doing something so damn stupid..
ok, i shall not mention what it is, coz i have stalkers all over my blog, if they find out, I'M DEAD!
and yeah.. sean was so cute.. he's like an awesome elder bro and also my dad -.-"
" if you ........ I'll slap your face"
HAHA..cuteness!
okay, he's super considerate! sweet! :D
then slacked with jiayin,noraza,salina,adeline and irza..
well, kinda fun..
then noraza, jia yin and adeline went back to school for night classes..waited for salina's bus to come..sent her of..
then irza sent me home:) SO SWEET!love ya!
went home, and i wanted to go lower seletar and just stone there.
tsk, i got no life. oh well, i'm lazy now..
and i'm still having second thought about that 'stupid' thing..
haiss.. aites, i need to have my shower and do homework and rot for the rest of the day:D

 ̶̶M̶y̶ ̶D̶r̶e̶a̶m̶s̶

I'd rather just give up on life.
Just let things be.
Nuff' said.
kbye.

I need time to myself ok.
No one understand me, I just need to accept that.
Orals sucked. I guess I was too bothered about other things.
Heck that, A promise is a promise. And I'm keeping to that.
OH YEAHH.. today all the Poly's came to do their "get your ass to our poly" thingies.
i got a teddy bear from RP!yeeeaaahhh!! RP AWESOME SIUL!
the bear so cute:)
then yea, all those small goddies uh..
Performance by teachers was awesome.
VP play the piano so damn well.. TSK. I JEALOUS SIA-.-"
oh well, great day overall.

Noraza, we're trying to get close with you again. but what do you do, you ignore us, you don't interact with us.
SO MUCH FOR YOUR SORRY.
see, i knew it. i would've been better off if i didn't get back as friends with ya.
its either you put in the effort to socialize, or just GTFO my life, and don't ever come back.

P.S- i wanna learn lighters(bruno mars,eminiem) on piano:).. COMFIRM CMI! but heck, for the fun of it:)
YEHDELINE MUST SING!